College 2020: From One Student to Another

Volume 10

Jul 16

Written By Rishona Michael & Lara Stecewycz

Rishona Michael and Lara Stecewycz, two summer interns at Arrowsmith Press, have come together to co-author this guide to entering college in 2020. Lara, an incoming freshman at UMass Amherst, interviewed 10 friends about what is most on their minds as they prepare for a moment that (even in the most usual of times) is full of uncertainties and excitement. Rishona, entering her senior year at Emerson College, offers Lara and her incoming class as much sage wisdom as she’s gained in her three years as an undergraduate. As they move into the school year, Rishona and Lara will continue to report on what college life is like during this pandemic and beyond.

Effects of COVID-19

Lara:
Having to accept a question mark in place of an answer is unsettling and stressful. But one question overpowers all the others: will classes be online? All the interviewees and I have agreed that we are strongly against the continued isolation of being online for an entire semester. Having ended high school with a lack of in-person communication and classroom discussions have led us to dread the idea of online classes going on for even longer. Enough is enough.

Most students have no idea whether or not they will be on campus in the fall. Either way, many of us are likely to be disappointed. We did not see ourselves first stepping onto our college campuses via computer screens. One interviewee asked, “How will I be able to connect with other people if we aren’t on campus?” From going to campus weeks early, to spending a semester online, we want some kind of normal, whatever that may be.

Rishona:
There is a question mark that lingers around every conversation about Covid-19. Many of us are even having vivid dreams due to the current uncertainties. According to an article from National Geographic by Rebecca Renner, “Some dream experts believe that withdrawal from our usual environments and daily stimuli has left dreamers with a dearth of’ ‘inspiration,’ forcing our subconscious minds to draw more heavily on themes from our past.” And outside of the pandemic, there are even more pressing issues occurring around the world: in Sudan there is a political crisis, in Brazil the rainforests are dying, and all over the world those who identify with the LGBTQ+ community are being killed. With all the inequality and suffering that the world and the human race is dealing with, we need to listen. Listen not necessarily to those in power, but to ourselves and the issues around us. We need to take things not only one day at a time, but one moment at a time. We need to work together. While it’s true many students do not want to have class online, many teachers do not want to teach online either. No one wants to deal with these anxieties and huge transitions, and while some happen to be affected more than others (i.e. incoming freshman) it is important to keep in mind that we need each other. So yes, not being on campus is disappointing and the uncertainties are scary. But in times of uncertainty, humans turn to each other. I have faith that you will still be surrounded by loved ones during this school year. And while still online, moments on campus and in person will become that much more valuable. As students are all cohesively struggling and worrying about online classes, classmates will lean on each other more than ever before. College is a time for growth, and through all of this, you will grow.

Activism & Having Our Voices Heard

Lara:
The year 2020 has given us more than we’d bargained for. Right now, we look around to see the effects of Covid-19, Black Lives Matter protests, and debates about the upcoming presidential election. We want to be in charge of our lives and making a difference. But this year has led us to feel a lack of control. One way we’ve learned to regain a sense of control is through activism and letting our voices be heard. Living in a small, sheltered, isolated community where the closest thing we have to activism is posting on Instagram, it is difficult to express ourselves and significantly help the world. In early June, my town had a BLM protest which consisted of walking several blocks, signs-in-hand, and then kneeling on our elementary school’s track and field for nine minutes. We want to show our support. But we don’t have the resources or a large enough audience to make the impact we want to.

In college, we hope for more — more voices fighting for the right cause, more of an audience, more resources, and more opportunities to make a difference. Will college give us what we want — what we need? And how have college students evolved over the last couple of years in terms of their social awareness? Will we freshmen one day find ourselves with a platform on which we can express our desire for change?

Rishona:
For the amount of money students pay for college, you have every right to demand any additional resources you may need. Keep in mind that not all colleges are always transparent in their accommodations and resources, so I encourage you to go out of your comfort zone and find them — either by making connections with faculty and professors and asking the questions that you want answered, or by speaking with someone who can point you in the right direction. In regards to the Black Lives Matter movement, while a lot has been shown through protesting, even more has been shown and encouraged through social media. Many activists have been reposting valuable information to educate some and uplift others. You have an audience, and you have all the capability to be an activist. Now you must listen, read, learn, and continue to grow. Then, strategically use your words to make a change. You have been given everything you need in this moment to go forward, you just need to figure out how to navigate through all that information.

Homesickness, Independence, Responsibility, & Finding Balance

Lara:
We’ve spent the last eighteen years living under our parents’ roof, under our parents’ rules. We’ve made significant decisions based on their guidance. They’ve fed us, transported us, lent us money, and now we’re expected to be responsible for ourselves. One interviewee asked, “How will I survive without my parents?” College students are expected to be self-reliant instantaneously.

We’re packing to leave not only our parents, but our friends, house, school, and hometown, even if we aren’t ready. No longer living with our parents, students are forced to wear the pants in the family — the family of one. An interviewee nervously asked me, “What even is the best balance for the first semester of a new life? Should I be focusing on making new friends or studying? Should I get a job? How do I budget time, money, and sleep?” These are questions we have to find the answers to ourselves.

In high school, our parents and school counselors might have played a part in advising us to find balance. This idea was actually preached at my high school. Now, we’re responsible for managing our own time, and finding the right classes, activities, and people that will allow us to do that. In the words of an interviewee, “Just like everyone else, you learn, and try to make every day a count.”

Rishona:
There was a time during sophomore year when I found myself questioning if I was on the right path. I questioned why certain relationships were ending, and what purpose they had served for me. In a moment of anxiety and desired clarity, I found myself in an old book store, picking books off the shelves, and searching for one to give me an answer. The first book I opened said:

I tell you that I have a long way to go before I am — where one begins… You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

Taken from Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet. I now frequently come back to these words when I fear uncertainty. This paragraph gave me the clarity I desired at the time, and helped me understand that our internal guidance is learned and strengthened through trial and error.

New Friendships, Old Friendships, Roommates, Romantic Relationships, Social Life, & Adjusting to a New Version of Self

Lara:
A different group of people awaits us at college, and this group is likely more diverse than in high school. We are entering an environment of racially, religiously, and politically diverse people who have lived through experiences entirely different from our own. We hope to make friends with whom we share interests, passions, quirks. We must be the best version of ourselves so that we attract the right people.

We have been plucked up from our childhood bedrooms and dropped into a community of peers, classmates, potential friends, or, as an interviewee put it, “strangers.” We have to remember how to make friends all over again. Will we be liked? Most of us will be spending a year sharing a room with someone we barely know, but will have to learn to get along with. (At least you and your roommate are in this together.)

While we’re busy trying to make new friends, we’ll struggle to keep in touch with the friends we had in high school who we promised to call/text every night. We’re expected to keep up with two different worlds, and too much time spent in one world puts the other at jeopardy. I fear disconnecting from my old life — I don’t want to move on.

Dating in college is its own challenge: from beginning a new relationship to keeping up with a pre-existing long-distance relationship, we become aware of the time it takes to be romantically involved. Now, we must think about her needs along with our own. We push ourselves to do too much and meet too many people. We end up stretching ourselves too thin.

And what about parties? The adults in our lives may have played a role in telling us about the drugs with which we should not experiment — all of them. In college, each student is responsible for the drugs we take, and the alcohol we consume. While I have certain expectations for myself, I worry that peer pressure will cause me to change. Then I will have to be the adult. Students who’ve avoided drinking in high school fear that parties (and ultimately drugs) will be too tempting to avoid. Others want to meet different kinds of people, and try new things they didn’t have access to in high school. But, most importantly, we should always remember to take care of ourselves, and make good decisions. A parent, advisor, or friend is only a phone call away, and will steer you in the right direction.

Finally, let’s propose a scenario: the buildings and teachers and classes look intimidating; it seems like everyone else has already found their niche; there’s a whiff of confidence in the air that everyone seems to have noticed but you. You can’t help but wonder, Is this the right place for me?

Trying to fit in (all over again) is a challenge on its own. One interviewee said, “I’m worried about having to make all these new friends, which is something I have never had to do because I've been in one community and at one school my whole life!”

While worrying about our new lives, we can’t help but wonder what might happen to our old lives. How will we change as people? Will our relationships with family and friends back home change? One interviewee fears that her old friends will have “moved on,” forgetting about the relationships they’ve cultivated for years. Those friends may change. We, too, may change.

Rishona:
While college is a big transition, no one is doing it alone. College is a time when people are eager to connect, a place where friendships come more naturally. The best version of yourself is simply yourself. Relationships that are meant to last will naturally last, and while some relationships fade, that’s natural and only provides more opportunity for growth and more love. This is a time for you to strengthen your internal guidance; to listen to yourself and decide the next step to create the right balance. There is no wrong step, for you will always be granted new opportunities to grow as long as you keep moving forward.

Through my limited years of growth by failure, growth by reading, and growth by heartbreak, I have learned that change is inevitable. It is a lesson that shows up time and time again — sometimes subtly and sometimes dramatically. College is a continuous cycle of failing and learning through experience. It's a cycle of ups and downs that occur more frequently than shown in the media, but one must highlight the ups and embrace and learn from the downs. Mistakes are glorious! And college gives us the opportunity to make as many mistakes as possible while transitioning into adulthood. College teaches us to be resilient and confident. And while there are many uncertainties about what the new school year will look like, we must work together to find the best way to manage life one moment at a time, and to live the questions until we find the answers.

Academics

Lara:
By the end of our sophomore year, most colleges expect that we’ll have our major figured out — that we’ll know what we want to study (and then do) for the rest of our lives. What happened to “You have all the time you need”? That time has run out.

Here lies the conundrum. Let’s say you’re a freshman studying biology. After a handful of lectures and labs, you decide that biology is no longer for you. You switch to studying English. You love literature, but realize how difficult it will be to make a living only by reading other writers’ books. So you jump around a bit more, and end up questioning whether you were wrong to nix the biology track in the first place. Did I waste all that time and money to end up just where I began? You want to do what makes you happy. But being broke also won’t make you happy.

We are paying enough money to receive a worthwhile education. But what if the workload is too heavy and the teacher isn’t good at teaching?

Rishona:
The human mind and body are not fully developed until the age of twenty-five. And every seven years your body has an entire new set of cells, which means that seven years from now you will be a completely different person. Throughout my three years of college I have wanted to be a writer, a publisher, a graphic designer for book covers, a graphic designer for music album covers, a music producer, a nurse, and finally a poet, and even more recently I have had thoughts about being a model. I love to write, that has never changed, but even now I am not sure what I will be doing after college. The most put together student does not know what the future holds for them. It is important to remember you do not have to decide right now what your ultimate career will be. Take your education as it comes, and always strive to better yourself in new ways. Mistakes are inevitable, but to comprehend the highs, the lows need to be experienced. In Okasana Zabuzhko’s latest poetry compilation, she expresses in an interview that she “prefers [her] mature poems to [her] early ones — they are more laconic, less garrulous (more knowledgeable, less emotional)...” However, for Zabuzhko to get to the level of writing she values, she had to experience and work with her previous writer's voice. It is important in writing to write out all your thoughts and emotions, and then to stand back and revise. Likewise, people must experience potential setbacks to make justifiable and confident claims; only by making a mistake will one be able to make fewer mistakes. I had to dabble in each of the professions I found interesting to then understand what I did and did not want my future to contain.

Finances

Lara:
In America, we’ve been told that we must pay a lot of money for a good education — even if it’s not a good education. As we enter adulthood, the role that loans and grants and money and debt play will grow larger. Ideally, an expensive education should get you a well-paying job that will allow you to pay for your expensive education. Some colleges meet our expectations for the “expensive” part, but not the latter. Not everyone will leave college with plans to become a doctor, lawyer, etc.

We’re only soon-to-be freshmen, and already we must think about the idea of being in debt for the rest of our lives. And I haven’t even mentioned paying for room and board, for textbooks, or for simple necessities on campus. An interviewee asked me, “How am I even going to pay for college? I know I’ll have to take out loans — that’s a given — but how long will I be in debt for?” How can colleges keep saying they’re preparing us for future success when they’re also the cause of our future debt? And each year they raise our tuition higher and higher.

Rishona:
It does seem that colleges assume we are made of money sometimes. Financial scares and issues are a common anxiety. When it comes to paying for college, get very creative. Borrow used textbooks from friends or rent them for cheaper. I also always advise not to get the textbook until after the first week of the class, this way if a classmate finds a free pdf online, or if you find out that the textbooks are rarely used in class, you can access the book in the library when it is needed. You can also always resell your textbooks once it is used. In regards to tuition, try appealing for more money. More times than not, if you explain your financial issues, they will provide more grants or work out a better payment plan. Keep an eye out for grants, awards, and scholarships, because even the smallest amount helps. And take full advantage of college because your money is not worth wasting.

Mental Health, Food, & Overall Well-Being

Lara:
Mental health challenges make an already overwhelming college experience more difficult. Anxiety, depression, suicide, addiction, and eating disorders are common among college students pushing themselves to adjust to a new world with new people. The people who were always around and willing to help are no longer close by. Speaking to a parent or friend virtually is possible, but in-person talks become impossible. Fortunately, the majority of colleges give students access to therapy. But first, we must find some clue in our own heads that tells us we need to reach out for help.

In regards to food, considering that the majority of students will be spending four years at the same college, we hope that there will be a wide variety of food that is tasty and healthy. When the occasion calls for cooking, some of us realize that we have little experience completing even basic tasks — “For how long should I boil an egg?” Moreover, while already trying to balance our academics with having a social life, we worry that getting a sufficient night’s rest may be too much to ask for.

Rishona:
The whole world is in a state of depression as so many are dying, and their loved ones are also not receiving closure from their loss. The anxieties in regards to the pandemic are taking a toll on all our mental health. It’s important to be gentle with ourselves. Prioritize personal time, whether that be a zoom call with friends, a hug from your mother, painting on a bookshelf, reading a book, or even working out. Such activities that release more dopamine will help. Prioritize your sleep, and listen to your body because your well-being is the most important factor in college — it is impossible for a train to move without an engine, and likewise it is impossible for us to work without good mental health. In terms of cooking for yourself and staying healthy — a healthy diet is all about portion size. It’s smart to purchase to-go containers for the purpose of leftovers that can be reused for dinner the next day. Simple cooking instructions are just a google search away, and sooner or later it will all become second-nature. You’ll find a routine to manage your classes, maintain a healthy social life, and take care of your body and mind. It will take time, but trust that you will have help from your fellow peers along the way. And with friends, finding the right diet and balance can be fun!