Grocery Store Chronicles
Episode 1
A group of vegetables were heard complaining about a group of fruit wanting and agreeing with the new store policy of forced pesticides — the store claims its because it’s better for the fruits’ health, veggies recall fruit saying store paper was fake news and now appear to be in agreement with store laws, making side deals with kool-aid for better health for all. Veggies continue to be at odds with the whole operation, and continue to eye the exit door next to the cash registers... meanwhile tomatoes don’t know what side to be on.
Tune in tomorrow!
Episode 2
The Tomatoes have yet to decide wether or not they want to be placed in designer grocery bags or pale plastic.
Grocery Daily News: Salmon lobbying for the immediate release of friends “Free Canned Tuna.”
Grocery Daily News: Ice creams express growing concern over rising freezer temps.
“Breaking News: a brawl breaks out between Essential Pancake Mix vs A trio of Non-Essential Eggs, Flour, and Oil.”
Eye Witness Water had this to say about the Melee:
“Listen EPM (Essential Pancake Mix) and I we go way back and they got mad heart, however something must have provoked this senseless act. I am sitting in the aisle, you know, typical day for all of us, and yeah I am just waiting to be purchased and all of a sudden EPM is fighting in the aisle, beating the hell out the eggs… now from my view point I believe cake mix had a hand in this brawl... that cake thinks it’s running things, and let me just say this — it’s not cool at all that flour and oil felt the need to intervene and get a few cheap shots in on my ace EPM. And trust me when I say a flood awaits, but for now we are all essential and should come together in this moment.”
Tomatoes were on the scene as well, but refused to comment. Stay tuned In!
Grocery Daily News: Frozen Foods say they have discovered the fountain of youth.
Stay Tuned In! News Ahead: Essential Pancake Mix is recovering well after yesterday’s Melee with Non-Essential Eggs, Flour & Oil.
EPM had this to say: “I am recovering well, and feel that my day of being purchased is near! I would like to thank Water for cooperating with the authorities, that’s been my ace for years — just add water to the mix and you can’t go wrong.”
Scene on Site: Tomatoes quickly fled the scene after refusing to comment.
Episode 3
The GCC as reported by Mr Mocha:
“The Grocery Coffee Conference was held recently. Guest speakers included Instant, Grounded, and Bean. Let me say we here at the GCC do not discriminate. We did however wonder why Soy showed up. We are thankful that Soy showed up, and are appreciative of their participation. Soy brought to our attention the recent dismissal of the international delight Creamer from a local fridge. Now we here at the GCC will throughly investigate such serious matters and gather as many facts as we can surrounding this unfortunate and untimely event. We at the GCC have had relations with Creamer of both foreign and domestic types for well over a century. We shall not have it ruined over irresponsible and improper product placement. We assure the Creamer community that we hear and will answer the call of our friends, we have their backs. I would also like to take the time to thank the Cups for attending. See you next year!”
Stay tuned In!
Grocery Daily News: Check out tonight’s cypher — Broccoli vs Cauliflower. Find out who is the realest... Cheese will be in attendance!
Grocery Daily News: Broccoli wins Cypher by a landslide!
Recap — Last night, in what many thought would be an epic lyrical battle, ended in Broccoli owning Cauliflower. Experts in the field say it was not even close... Highlighted flow from MC B Coli: “You a genetically modified chump copy pale look alike with no flavor in the eyes of cheese.”
Cheese was present and honored to be the mentioned in the line.
Stay tuned in!
Grocery Daily News: Cauliflower Demands a Rematch!
In what many thought was a landslide victory in favor of Broccoli, Cauliflower and it’s reps thought otherwise. Here is a statement from the defeated MC C Flower: “Well first let me say at the end of the day I think MC B Coli went way below the belt, I mean we damn near family, last time I checked we was cousins. Wow, it’s crazy, but yeah we shall battle again! Without a doubt…”
Stay Tuned In for when the next rap battle will take place!!!
Episode 4
Speaking to a therapist today, tomatoes attempt to unlock who they are.
Tomatoes: I can’t figure out if I am a fruit or a veggie. I mean, I can be green and fried one day, or red and sauced up the next...
Therapist:
Tomatoes: Okay, well have a good one, thanks for listening. Until next time!
Grocery Daily News: Celery recently mediated talks between pitted olives and non-pitted olives. The parties were at odds with each other over favoritism statements made by Martini suggesting it preferred pitted olives over non-pitted. Celery was the perfect candidate for these talks, having had some run-ins with green beans concerning the Bloody Mary Mix...
Stay Tuned in!!!!
Episode 5: The Return
Riots break out in aisle 5, skittles vs M&Ms...
Eye Witness Water reports there are issues over whose color is more authentic... Skittles claim taste matches their color... M&Ms see otherwise, claiming to be more down with the cause of color...
Stay Tuned in...
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Grocery Daily news: Tomatoes are abandoning their respected status among the aisle community of veggies, preferring the aisle Fame of Fruit...
Stay Tuned in!!!!! 🙂
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Episode 6: Water Gang Riots on the Rise
The Cold Water Gang was last seen throwing up ice signs en route to pay Room Temp Water Gang a visit, chanting “we got the illest, we got the illest temps what what…” Both sets are at odds with one another over who got the illest temps and units sold!
Eye Witness Water reports an innocent bystander, cubed ice, yelling: “We family, we all H20 family, stop the leaking please, stop the leaking... we all we gotta set an example for the young little h2s... all temperatures matter... the store wins the units... we just get purchased.”
Stay Tuned in!!!!!!
Grocery Daily News: The little H2s (teenage water) met up with the OG H2Os from both the Cold & Room Temp Water Gangs, expressing the desire to not want to be bottled in, and that they have the right to choose their own path of the illest temp without further leakage.
Grocery Daily News: A recent Town Hall meeting was held between the 1st and 2nd aisle — genetic and organic foods expressing concern that their identity, as well as their minds, are being curated by the two-leg walkers, talks will continue for a few weeks...
Stay tuned in....
Grocery Daily News: Tis the season of Daily Riots. It’s a Melee!!!!!!!
Every aisle is product vs product. They are at odds with each other as they fight for the best aisle placement, and everyone is gearing up for another high intensity eating season...
The peaceful non-violent dietary supplements wait in the wings for their highly anticipated off season... Store Radio DJ Jelly Jam plays. We start our diets on Monday and after the Holidays.
Eye Witness Water preps for another dry season as the two-leg walkers begin to purchase only their cousin Alcohol.
James Brandon Lewis is a critically- acclaimed composer, saxophonist, and writer. He has received accolades from NPR, ASCAP Foundation,Macdowell, and The Robert Rauschenberg Foundation. He has been described as “ a saxophonist who embodies and transcends tradition” by The New York Times, and a promising young talent having listened to the elders by Jazz Legend Sonny Rollins. The saxophonist has balanced a deep, gospel -informed spirituality with Free-Jazz- abandon and hard-hitting funk-meets-hip-hop underpinning - Rolling Stone Magazine. He has released several critically-acclaimed albums, most recently highly touted 2021's Jesup Wagon and tours internationally leading several ensembles, and is a member and co-founder of American Book Award winning Ensemble Heroes Are Gang Leaders. James was recently voted Rising Star Tenor Saxophonist by Downbeat magazine's 2020s International Critics poll and most recently named top Tenor Saxophonist for 2021 by Jazz Times Magazine. Lewis attended Howard University, received his M.F.A from California Institute of the Arts and was recently named the Inaugural recipient of the Phd Fellowship in Creativity by the University of the Arts in collaboration with The Balvenie, drummer and Academy Award-Winning Director Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson.